We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
