I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
