I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Randomize
