He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
