I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
