I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
