can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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