I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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