it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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