I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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