Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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