took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
