im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
