White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
