You work out of a Hotel?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
