do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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