doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Let's get the cat blown out
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
