PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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