exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
