I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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