The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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