i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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