He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
