i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Randomize
