I wish my penis had an off switch
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
