Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
