How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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