i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
