We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Sext me about skeletons
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
