Don't you send me to vm
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
