She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
