didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
