Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
