I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
