But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
