I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
