if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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