i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
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