im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
