I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
