Don't you send me to vm
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
So squirting runs in the family.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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