I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
