I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
