What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
