Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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