I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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