areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize