We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
