I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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