well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
