Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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