so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
