I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
