hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Randomize
