I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
