I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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