Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
