when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
