i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with youâ€
Randomize
