The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
