"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
