Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
